May 7
1 Sam 1:1-2:21 | PS 105:37-45 | Prov 14:28-29 | John 5:1-23
I really wish I could remember the words. What I do remember was the location and the heart behind the words. The location was a small area to pray beside a cross on the side of a church in Brooklyn on 13th Ave, called St. Bernadette's sometime between 1987-1988. Prior to this point, I was unchurched and completely lacked any understanding of engaging in a relationship with God. Though I was confirmed at the age of 13 in the Episcopal church, I ceased any further church going at that point. I have mentioned before that after the death of my mother and the sincere prayers of a woman by the bedside of my deceased mother, Psalm 23, I felt a compulsion to ask the priest at the hospital where I was in medical school for a bible. I began reading purely out of desire, but had no idea what I was really doing. Prior to going to medical school, I was a pharmacist, and my part time job was at a pharmacy across from this church. Realize I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what was "allowed", I didn't know if there was a right or wrong way to do anything concerning God. I didn't know if I had to go inside a church, or if I was even allowed to go inside a church outside the typical hours. So, it was with this sincere attitude of seeking, honestly seeking, that this area adjacent to this church beckoned me. I dropped to my knees and simply talked to God, probably for the first time. Again, I don't remember the words, but I remember the attitude. I wanted to get to know Him, get closer to Him. etc. I wanted something real, not put on. Yes, I met Him there. Again, I don't remember the exchange, but my words were as talking to another. I didn't speak at Him, but instead I spoke with Him. It was conversational, as I would talk to my wife. What I do remember was leaving with peace and a desire to know Him more. I had just embarked on reading the Bible, I now did so fervently with a deep desire to know Him better.
Hannah was barren and distraught. What we see when she goes to the tabernacle in Shiloh, is a woman who was desperate to talk to God. We read in 1 Samuel 1:9-10, "So Hannah arose after they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat by the doorpost of the tabernacle of the Lord. And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish." She was sincerely speaking and pleading with God, as we read further the exchange between the High Priest and Hannah 1:12-14, "And it happened, as she continued praying before the Lord, that Eli watched her mouth. Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!”" It's sad when real and sincere prayer is unrecognized, so often it is done in safe and scripted format. We read further of the exchange in 1:15-16, "But Hannah answered and said, “No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman, for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now.”" We see the conclusion, before the later fulfillment in 1:17, "Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.”"
Are we told all of the words that Hannah poured out to God? No! This was a private exchange of a woman who sought out God in sincerity. It wasn't scripted, it was heartfelt. It wasn't safe, it was desperate. She also believed that in this relationship, God was listening. So it is with us. When we pray, do we do so knowing that our God loves us and is focused on us when we communicate with Him. It doesn't matter where you are, the position that you take when talking, etc. Consider the difference in the eyes of the world between Hannah and the priests in charge of the tabernacle. She would be seen as lowly, while the priests would be raised up. Yet, she was in a true relationship, and the priests were doing religion, and were terribly disobedient and reckless with the things of God, as we read in 1 Samuel 2:17, "So the sin of these young men was very serious in the Lord’s sight, for they treated the Lord’s offerings with contempt." Many could not recognize Jesus, especially the religious leaders. Jesus, who was in intimate relationship with the Father, while the leaders were steeped in religious tradition were blinded and could not even recognize their Messiah, though He was directly in front of them, even performing miracles. We read of this in John 5:16, "So the Jewish leaders began harassing Jesus for breaking the Sabbath rules." Jesus was not breaking the Mosaic Law, He was choosing not to follow the religious traditions which were raised up to the equivalence of the law by the religious establishment. So, we each have a choice, we can either come to God in true relationship, in submission, seeking Him honestly, or we can come to Him in the form of some ceremonial. religious, distant, and ritualistic manner. God never desired religion, He always desires true relationship.
Messages from Pastor Lloyd Pulley: